I entered the lecture room and sat next to the girl I found prettiest – just as I had envisioned months prior. She revealed that she also studied biomedical engineering and was in my group. It was the second week of October, and for the first time, I met my entire biomedical engineering major. By then, the lessons hadn’t started, and every event was about getting to know the university.
As the day went on, I found out that many knew me. This was no accident. A few weeks prior, I had organized a meetup to gain recognition. The meetup itself was disappointing because everyone present was timid and introverted. Next to gaining recognition, I had to compensate because I would frequently make a fool of myself by not knowing the schedule. Regarding compensation, I also drove an hour to the faculty building to take a photo for the group chat because I once laughed at the wrong moment. I spent the first days with a guy who knew me from last year’s business competition and his friends. The first few days were very awkward, perhaps because everything was new. I didn’t make any friends, but to be fair, by then, it had only been two days – and I'm playing the big game.
Then, it was already Friday evening of the second October week, and school would start on Monday. On that evening, I was driving to Leipzig to attend a business event. After traveling for four hours, I arrived and enjoyed it very much. I told the event’s organizer, who I had known for two years, that I might leave soon because I may go on a date with a girl I met online. I was surprised when he asked me if she was blonde – he told me he had read my entire blog, which made me feel deeply appreciated. That date never occurred because she responded that she ‘had no time’ – but I'm not stupid. As the evening progressed, I, of course, started to talk about dating. After a one-hour “reality check,” it turned out I was actually unattractive. The girls who were clearly interested in me didn’t matter and I was told I should try self-improvement. I guess I was living in an illusion, you see?
For those of you new to my blog, I’ve dedicated the last four years to self-improvement, and I couldn’t believe what nonsense I heard. Anyway. I returned home at two in the morning.
When I got up, I spent two hours completing the math homework, and I felt like an absolute idiot because I got almost nothing done. Even though I spent all day long, I worked only for two hours.
The next day, I was presented with a unique opportunity. I could continue to do the homework or go on a little adventure—it was the last day before the lectures started. Having lived at a homeless shelter at nine, having two failed businesses behind me, and having finished 12th grade at 16 with a perfect high school diploma, I took the latter option.
I put on my boots and grabbed my camera. The sun would be setting in precisely four hours. I wanted to photograph waterfalls while following woodland trails – something I had not done in a year. I found a few smaller waterfalls and returned to the ferry connecting the train.
“Excuse me, are you a photographer … ?”
A sweet young lady with a heavy accent seemed interested in my photos. So, I gave her my business card, and that’s when we started to speak in Russian. We would spend the next five hours together, walking through Dresden.
The sky is starry when you’re young; indeed, it is. She awaited her departure, so I knew we would never meet again.
I slept very little because university started early. After the introductory week, it was now time for the real lectures. My first lecture was about anatomy, and I liked it. A few more lessons followed, and the rest of the day was unremarkable. I was active during the lessons because I believed in doing more than the bare minimum. Even though I may not care about university, I want to excel. It feels like now I have a purpose. Thus, I'm back with direction.
Kiryl P.