Last week, I retreated to meditate. Seeking insight— I got an idea. Since both electrocardiographs and touchscreens measure tiny voltages, why not replace that complicated device with a phone? I felt excitement since I would lean beyond my edge. Even if this idea were to fail commercially, I could also impress every hot blonde.
It’s the third university week, and a few things have changed.
For one, I decided to pause dating. No girls in my course are too attractive. Additionally, I struggle to differentiate myself from thousands of other students, many of whom are much older. I’ve observed that I hardly get any attention in this much bigger city, which is a problem because I base my well-being on the attention I get from women.
The second bit of news is that I finally managed to integrate myself. Even though I had made an excellent first impression, the first two weeks were dominated by awkwardness, and I didn’t understand why. I felt as though university was gaslighting me because, in the past year, I have gained pretty solid social skills. I got myself to a point where I was able to talk about life with almost everyone – from middle-aged alcoholics to hot blondes. I tried to make sense of this discrepancy, and then I understood that I was awkward because I was trying to befriend people I wasn’t compatible with. But, after enough trial and error, I found people I could show my true self to.
Yet still, despite it being the third week, I haven’t gotten my notes in order and have to do a lot of work at home. But I'm confident I will not lag behind for too long. Talking about clumsiness, whenever I leave the house, I shake the door to check whether I closed it. It’s my first time living alone, but I'm getting used to it.
Let’s move on with the story.
The very first time I entered university, I sat beside a pretty girl, just as I had envisioned months prior. I know - I'm a hypocrite - because she isn’t blonde. I considered asking her out because she had a very obvious crush on me, and I also found her sweet. We accidentally looked at each other well over fifty times and she’s always playing with her hair when sitting in front of me.
But I would rather work.
Today, I went to the professor since I wanted to find out whether my idea was possible, practical, or necessary. After a short conversation, I found out it wasn’t. Something similar had already existed, and my concept itself was useless. I guess there’s no shortcut to life. The struggle continues.
Today, I also signed up for a gym and had my first workout in two months, which felt great, especially because everyone was so friendly. Maybe now I'm worthy of love again?
After the gym, I walked with an older woman who works as a medical engineer. For those who don’t know, that’s the same thing I’m studying at university. The first thing she started to talk about was electrocardiographs and how they relate to phones. She then told me problems needed solving in biomedical engineering and which inventions would make great businesses.
Amongst the hot blondes and electrocardiographs, it’s easy to miss the core of this text: You’re always one decision away from changing your life. If you want an exceptional life, you must do things no one else does.
Kiryl P.