In order to live a peaceful and meaningful life, one must de-romanticize most of it—and romanticize only where it serves transcendence.
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I will start this text by describing how to live more peacefully by being less romantic. I’ve observed that many men, including myself for most of my life, attach meaning where none can be found. As such, they suffer.
Movies teach you that life will change if you only wait long enough: The bully ends up miserable, and the nerd gets the hot one. I don’t have to explain that life is not a movie. For example, in life, it is often the case that the bully channels that aggression for self-improvement and becomes successful, while the nerd never moves on from anime. There’s no plot, it’s just action. Music is all about how eternal love is, whilst so many couples have sex as frequently as they read books. Effeminate men tell you to ‘follow your passion,’ ‘travel the world,’ and ‘experience the vibe.’
You’ve probably been raised devoid of any men in your life; the reality is, most of life, probably ninety-five percent, is not meant to be romantic and should not be subject to romanticism. For example, many romanticise about school, telling me that skipping a grade was wrong because of the supposed experiences I missed. Pay attention to your inner monologue! I assume you are so used to thinking in this everyday romanticism that you don’t notice the fundamental errors in such arguments. Let’s break it down: Why is “not skipping 9th grade because of the experiences you’d miss” a fallacy? - Well, which experiences? Do you mean falling in love, breaking up, making friends, losing friends, new identities, the ‘feeling of growing up,’ and being awkward? Assuming those experiences are desirable, is it not implausible to go on an awkward date at seventeen? Is it unrealistic to believe that maturity lasts a lifetime? As you can see, we’re dealing with a classical problem here: people are desperate to cling to supposed meaning; they seek it where none is to be found. They do not dare seek genuine emotion, passion, and elation. Instead, they cling upon the dust.
The issue is that we are bombarded with romantic ideas so frequently that we forget to contextualise them. For example, have you ever noticed that ancient philosophers never discussed trauma, self-esteem, or romanticism? Why do you think that is? Well, fundamentally, that’s because romanticism is not baked into the universe; it is one philosophy amongst many.
That being said, romanticism does have its purpose. If your goal is self-actualization, almost every one of your thoughts will be romantic. After all, romantism is about transcendence. Transcendence is a fancy word for thinking big while pursuing genuine goals. My thesis is that women enjoy romantic matters precisely because they are about self-actualization, meaning, it’s a sign that you’ve at least somewhat figured out your life. So the question of how to become more romantic already falls in the obsolete: you just have to keep improving. You will be connected to your passions once you grow.
You can’t overstate the monumental insignificance of almost everything. Do not seek meaning where none is to be found. You will live more peacefully if you accept that most things carry no meaning. Thus, you get to decide what matters and live a truly romantic life. Romanticise where you need to think big.
The purpose of this text is to bring peace to your mind. Most problems can be solved by deciding they aren’t problems. That’s why you need to de-romanticise your mind, otherwise, a speck of dust will appear to be a boulder. But in order to see clearly, only a boulder shall appear a boulder. Such is the essence of enlightenment – seeing things for what they truly are. In other words, you free your mind to think bigger by attaching less meaning to everyday issues. If you are concerned with minor problems, you will not climb high to see the light. But once you see that light, you will know that it is tranquil.
As such, I conclude: You can’t think big if you think complicated.