What my dream kind of looked like
1. A vision
By remembering the last thought before falling asleep, I remember my dreams. Today I dreamt something interesting.
I remember there being a sandy beach, like in a typical tourist hotspot. It was a starless night; it was dark outside of dim colorful lights along the shore. The water is black and at peace tonight.
On this beach, I encountered a young man who cried. I asked him what the problem was. It turned out everyone had forgotten his birthday. He also explained that he was living a pretty meaningless life.
I didn't hesitate to call out his weakness. I told him that he was a loser and that’s why everyone left him behind. No one cares about the weak. No one wakes up and thinks: ‘I need to make this guy rich.’ I never sugarcoat. I continued by saying that he needs to become purposeful. I explained that he needed to take control of his life. He can make sure people care about him by becoming the winner. You either win or accept defeat, get left behind, and linger until death arrives.
2. My friends are kind and lovely but a bit weak
I love my friends and know they want the best for me. It was nice to spend time with them. But still, I don't think we are compatible anymore. I noticed that when we couldn’t reach a flow while talking. They want to live invisible and peaceful lives. When I talk about my lack of discipline, they talk about their nonexistent one. Don't get me wrong. They don't drag me down, they don't want to make me do things I don't want to, they don't try to change me, nor do they interfere in my plans for the future. Despite their goodwill and positivity, we were now incompatible; I wanted to get more out of life.
At my core, I feel superior. Around my friends, I feel lovely. That makes it difficult to be with my friends – they do not awaken the worst in me. Being distanced from my core makes me suffer.
After the death of my first business in September 2023, I tried to live a normal life, which made my social situation blossom. My friends are normal. But this complacency made me depressed because I’m not built to live a normal life. Being distanced from my core made me suffer.
I don’t want to be around people with mediocre energy. Ultimately, most of my friends are weak.
3. I’m wasting my time with mediocre spirits
They may be lovely and funny, but I want more; I aim higher.
I refuse to spend time with people whose ideas do not serve me.
Here’s the first example. Music makes one happy. If you are happy, you don’t really need to become a monumental person. By that logic, music is slavery to the spirit. So, when I try to explain why I sacrificed music, they don’t get it. “Well, but you have to have fun,” and I’m sick of having to explain everything. I need to raise my standards. I don’t want to waste my energy around people who fundamentally disagree on everything – who am I doing a favor?
Another example. There's a central philosophical question, and that's whether free will exists. After debating with a pretty girl about whether free will exists, I concluded that I was brilliant. - Because I stopped caring about philosophy. I moved past my philosophical phase. Who cares about free will? Anyone who doesn’t believe in free will is a loser because they are looking for excuses.
Here’s the third example. I refuse to believe in things that make me weak. For I believe in self-improvement, I don’t believe that traumas aren’t fixable. There’s one girl I’m kind of friends with who would almost die to defend the idea that depression strikes out of nowhere and can’t be cured. I don’t need that kind of energy. I don’t need that negativity and weakness.
I don’t want to hear, ‘You should eat chocolate. Otherwise, you'll have a massive burnout.’
Why are my friends so immature? A friend tried to explain the necessity of teaching children how to use technology and how letting the computer think doesn’t make one stupid. Really? He also tried to argue that spending hours a day on social media is okay because you learn something. - Ah, that’s why you’re so bright. Now I get it. Maybe I should start wasting my time scrolling? – Saying doom-scrolling educates is like saying a prostitute gives love. That should be obvious. I don’t understand why he doesn’t get it. Why are my friends only able to argue like a textbook would? Why do they believe everything they’ve been told? Why don’t they have free spirits?
You are indeed the average of the people you spend time with, and I don’t want their average. If you think I'm close-minded, be it so. Why should I change my beliefs to something that doesn’t serve me? I demonstrated open-mindedness by eating cake for the first time in four years. It made me miserable. Why should I eat cake ever again? My wedding will not include cake. I’m open-minded to potential solutions but not to hedonism.
What’s even real? Are they even my friends if they never read one of my texts? Are they really my friends if they know nothing about me?
I find it shameful that I talk ill of my friends here because we did have nice moments, and they are lovely people. But, again, if I'm not compatible anymore, who am I doing a favor?
4. The burden of negativity and weakness
I'm never negative. I'm always grateful and respectful. On my blog, I sometimes complain, but never in person. When I complain in my texts, I only do so to reflect.
Here’s why I refuse to be negative. When you are negative, it attracts more negativity. Do you know what happens when one of your friends complains? You make clear to the universe that you are open to negative energy. Hence, you get that negativity. Demons get energy from you suffering through the negativity you absorb. When you open yourself to this energy, you start to collect misfortunes. Unfortunately, one of my friends constantly complains. Coincidentally, she is always depressed for no reason. She attracts that negativity. I do not need negativity in my life.
Some of my friends aren’t negative; they are weak. One of them is very positive but struggles to break free from his digital addiction. That’s weakness. Weakness and negativity are equals. Weakness lets in evil spirits, while negativity attracts them. Seeing someone struggling with discipline destabilized my discipline. Even if my friends seem lovely, I know, deep down, they are weak. They wouldn’t hesitate to sell their soul. I refuse to accept weakness anywhere near me.
I can't imagine a successful person complaining. Energy can't be destroyed; it can be converted into either complaints or success.
I started self-improvement at 13 in December 2020. After three years of work, my first business failed in September 2023. Now it’s almost April 2024. That means I was weakened for seven months. I have a theory. If I had the right friends, I would be back in the game in maybe two months. It's a pity to bond with friends only to realize that you must leave them behind a few months later. But that's life: either you outgrow your friends, or you don't grow.
5. The necessity of outgrowing relationships
I used to care about philosophy, but philosophy isn’t sexy; I’ve moved past that.
How do you deal with people who you are outgrowing? Well, you move on. In my case, our friendships end naturally because we keep diverging. I developed a lot by being social, but now I must face isolation again. I had friends in my weak, defeated, and heartbroken times, but now I'm returning to strength. I know that I have no other choice. This is necessary. This is life. Outgrowing people is life.
Despite everything, there's a friend I didn't diverge from.