Self-awareness is one of the few truly binary things, either you have it or you don't. Most people's self-awareness is nothing short of exact zero. They run on autopilot. They have no idea why they think and feel the way they do. They lack the slightest reflective insight to see how their thoughts and emotions are sabotaging them at all times. They don't know that they look at the world and misinterpret it. Reflection outside their perspective. They are snowflakes in the wind.
Yet, self-awareness is vital if you want to achieve anything in life. Your goal does not matter. No matter if you want greatness, riches, women, or a simple life, being conscious will serve you. No matter where you are in life, there is no situation where you are better off with less self-awareness. Even if you are depressed, you should be aware of why you feel and think this way. Self-awareness is not limited to knowing when you talk too quietly at a party. I believe that's an understatement of self-awareness's potential. Supreme self-awareness lets you take control of your mind, thoughts, and emotions. If aren't pleased by being a leaf in the wind of your emotions, you need this kind of elevated consciousness. Self-awareness establishes control over your mind, desires, and emotions.
With a lack of self-awareness, one does not realize how much shifting emotions infect thoughts. Most feel and then think, using their mind to rationally justify their emotions, without even realizing the trap they position themselves in. It's rare to encounter a person who thinks and doesn't automatically sanctify their thoughts while being deeply convinced in their thoughts' infallibility. After all, if it appears in the non-reflected mind, it must become a universal law.
I want you to see that emotions come and go. Thoughts come and go as well. Let me give you an example; after an undisciplined day or unthoughtful comment, I watch my mind tell me that I don't deserve love. There will be endless justifications for why that must be true. But then, mere moments later, when I encounter a little victory or read my diary, I watch how my mind returns to calling me the sexiest person in my village, which is no exaggeration. Fleeting emotions have a hard grip on one's thoughts and they lead in no direction. Hence, thoughts coupled with emotions are pointless.
Only thoughts, coupled with utmost considerations of one's self at the moment are productive. Those thoughts are free from one's ego and fleeting emotions. How do you develop self-awareness? It's simple. Journal without constraining yourself. Pause, reflect, and live by the deepest realization. Meditate daily, focus on your breath, and refocus when you notice your mind wandering. Increase your discipline and put yourself through hardship to get to know yourself. Experience new things, travel, and learn to get to know yourself further. Cultivated self-awareness will enable the detachment of your emotions, circumstances, and thoughts. That will bring calmness and greater rationality.
I wrote that self-awareness is one of the only true binary things. I want to add more nuance. Everyone has two voices in their head. The first voice is the one that tells you to eat sugar. The second one tells you that you need to do pushups. Self-awareness is realizing that there are two voices and realizing that the second one has a point. Self-awareness is one of the few purely good things.
When you have developed self-awareness, you will never need to learn anything else about “mindset”. I dislike the word mindset. It's too stretched, everyone just speaks about it and has no clue of what they are talking about. Mindset boils down to two essences: only believing in things that serve you and separating thinking and emotions. These two things are the only things you need to know about mindset.
That means, thinking that you don't deserve love after an unthoughtful comment is a harmful way of reasoning. It limits you and is therefore not helpful. Someone who doesn't care and is ten times less friendly may have even more love than you because you believe in something that inhibits progress. Thinking that no one wants to read texts from a 16-year-old is a self-limiting belief as well and therefore a bad mindset. Whether a text is worth reading or not doesn't depend on the age of the author, but on the depth of thought, utility in life, and quality of expression. Concluding that you must be bad at math or 'not a math person' is a handicapping belief. You may be bad at math right now. In school, I used to be bad with words. However, I didn't say 'I'm not a word person' and simply started to write. It would not have made any sense to think that I'm with words since I'm not, anymore. You may be bad at something right now, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Stop telling yourself that you can't improve. Why do you cling to concepts that make you incompetent? Why would you choose to install software in your mind that makes you less capable? Why would you want to install beliefs that slow you down?
The next time you want to label yourself, limit yourself in your mind, or make a plain excuse, remember a Taoist guiding principle. Free of concepts, one sees the truth.
I know why anyone chooses to believe in self-limiting beliefs: they haven't separated thinking from emotions, which means, they lack self-awareness. The two essences, not believing in things that limit you and separating emotions from thinking are, as it turns out identical.
Believing that you aren't a people person just because you've been awkward at a party removes your responsibility of becoming more of a charismatic leader. Thus, it provides comfort to the mind. It comforts the part of the mind that tells you to eat sweets and tells you that everything should stay exactly the way it is right now. It's the monkey part of the brain. If I believed that no one wanted to read texts written by a 16-year-old, I could just waste my time on the internet, which is certainly easier. It's not emotionally overwhelming to stay the same. Because I didn't believe in it, I started to write. Everything in life is earned and learned and I refuse to believe otherwise. If someone is charismatic, that was learned. It's an emotional response to think that just because one is not great at something one cannot improve. However, one can contradict the lazy mind by becoming aware of its arsenal, which means, developing self-awareness. The moment you start to discard every self-limiting belief and detach emotions from thinking, you will live a great life.
Why does self-awareness open the gates to a great life? Because it makes your beliefs useful. Do not underestimate the power of the mind. You can lift your arm just by thinking about it. You can get sick if you believe that you ate something poisonous. By believing in things, they are more likely to materialize. You obviously can't manifest a lottery win because you have no control over it. However, you can change your behaviors, and habits to make yourself more capable. That starts with belief. Choosing what to believe in is called mindset and its roots are in self-awareness. What you believe in changes what you see. If you start to count red cars, red cars will be the only thing you see. If you want a hot blonde, hot blondes will suddenly appear everywhere. If you train yourself to look for ideas and opportunities because you believe they are abundant, you will become a capable person. And all of that starts with self-awareness. You must gain control over your mind to sharpen it. You must catch yourself thinking nonsense due to your emotions by cultivating self-awareness.
Let's bring these ideas a step further. If you develop enough self-awareness, you will realize that you suffer much more in the mind than in reality. You will realize that almost any fear is absurd. Furthermore, you will understand that worrying doesn't accelerate. Realizing that your fears have no roots in reality makes you a very combative individual.
Hence, self-awareness enables you to live a great life. That's all there is to mindset. Develop self-awareness to separate emotions from thoughts. Then, learn to dismiss every self-limiting belief. Realize that it's your mind playing tricks on you. Finally, let the sun watch your rise.