1. The mind craves presence
Today, my reality broke apart. I don’t even want to describe which words unmistakably touched my ears and broke my heart once more. I knew I would end up documenting this moment. These words struck like an arrow out of nowhere and with deadly precision. Saying my reality broke apart in eleven words is an understatement.
I was fully present again.
2. Mental presence, the middle, and absence
Shattering pain yields the most brilliant insights.
The three modes and the unstable middle. Your mind can be in three states.
The undesirable middle. What does being stuck in traffic, standing in a queue, or filling out documents have anything to do with presence, mindfulness, and enlightenment? Nothing. Your mind is in this strange middle, where you are neither entirely absent nor present. No seasoned individual would argue that standing in a queue is fun. Traffic is inherently annoying. Filling out documents is draining. Now, you may be wondering why that is.
Being half-present-half-absent is painful because stress, worries, overthinking, and insecurities appear. When you dream of your vacation while filling out documents, it’s impossible to feel bliss; the delta between reality and desire becomes too large.
A wandering mind is an unhappy one.
How novices deal with the thinking mind. If the voices in one’s head become unbearable, your desire too large, and thoughts too negative, one might do something about it. The mind craves presence. Do you know how most deal with the annoying mind?
(1) Pleasure. They use addictions, hedonism, and bad habits. They turn off the thinking mind instantly. Cheap pleasures kill the perception of time and self. For example, video games engage your mind so deeply that you can’t think of anything different. Alcohol turns off the thinking mind altogether. The fact that bad habits are habits proves how colossal the desire for presence is. I believe you’re an intelligent person, and I don’t elaborate on why numbing your mind using pleasure destroys your potential, steals your health, and sells your soul.
(2) Pain. Inventing problems. Some people are above perpetually numbing their minds. Hence, they employ other, more sophisticated tactical attacks. For example, some procrastinate to add some action and intense emotions. Others fall in love with someone who doesn’t want them. Others obsess over their past and get cynical joy from hearing bad news. If the world fails to give purpose, they will try to make one up. I am guilty of this at times, too. After a pointless argument, relief feels cathartic, rejuvenating, and refreshing; all problems seem to fade.
But there’s a better solution.
3. The power of the present mind
Instead of trying to numb the thinking mind with pleasure or filling it with artificial pain, one can embrace consciousness, mindfulness, and presence.
Embracing consciousness is unbelievably powerful. It eliminates imaginary pain and the desire for shallow pleasures. Cheap pleasures lose their fun, bad habits lose their grip, and addictions become powerless when one gives presence to the mind.
I call another powerful meditation, ‘life is paradise.’ If you eliminate artificial pain or problems and only focus on what’s real and meaningful, you will have no time to worry about low-level issues. You will have no time to live in a fantasy world if your real world is filled with action.
Hence, embracing presence brings peace.
It is peace that allows you to focus on what truly matters.
Presence is one of the keys to happiness. There’s something beyond comprehension when the infinite soul unites with your finite body. I like viewing the mind as an instance between your body and soul. The thinking mind blocks this energy transfer, and as a result, you suffer. Mediation nurtures the connection between the soul and body. You will profit from connecting your body and soul more closely. Your soul is indefatigable; it is pure direction and energy.
Reaching mindfulness starts with breathing correctly. Every time you take shallow breaths, you become unconscious. You also need to meditate. Meditation brings a deep sense of peace, purpose, and presence.
4. The hurdles to a conscious life.
How does the bible start? Eve gives up paradise because she wants to be conscious. The desire for presence and consciousness is truly colossal.
Some people can’t be present at all. Some people don’t have a voice in their heads. That seems unimaginable, but it’s true, just as some people don’t have souls. You don’t encounter these people too often. There’s very little to discuss with a person who doesn’t even have thoughts. They aren’t necessarily stupid, either. Some live a goldfish-level existence and still go to university. Unfortunately, these people will never be able to experience an absolute, enlightening presence. They don’t even know what ‘mental presence’ means. If they don’t have an annoying mind in the first place, how are they supposed to experience the authentic sublime?
Absence and presence feel similar. At the extremes, presence and absence merge, and their boundaries blur. Let me give you an example. During the peak of my burnout in June, I had no random thoughts – just as you would after gaining full consciousness. In actuality, I had zero presence. I don’t remember anything that happened, and my diary entries are empty. It was as if I never existed, thus solidifying my disingenuous perception of presence. You may be confused about why I bring up burnout - because we’re all different. What I consider burnout is what others live as their norm. For most, having a week pass where nothing happened is normal. Most grossly overestimate how conscious they are.
The curse of consciousness. Consciousness is a double-edged sword, like most things in life. If someone is born with an immense capacity for consciousness and this cannot be fulfilled, this person will live a miserable life. If I didn’t do business and write, I wouldn’t have an outlet for my massive consciousness. If I tried to live a normal life, I would be miserable deep down. I need the dark, high, and cold to feel alive. However, most people don’t find success because there are infinite ways to fail. As a result, they live in quiet desperation. No matter how much they try to numb themselves, it doesn’t work. Unfortunately, most are forced to do something that doesn’t bring them in a flow. Consciousness magnifies, both pain and pleasure.
Reaching what’s beyond grasp. I want to end with something motivational. A decade ago, you could have gone into a forest, enjoyed the golden atmosphere created by the low-light angle, and felt at peace amongst the trees atop a peak. However, back then, you could hear planes buzzing in the distance. Today, the serene blue is quiet. Progress in a long enough time frame makes the impossible come true without anyone noticing.
Focus and flow. I don’t believe in work-life balance, and neither do I believe in free time. If your work brings you in a flow, you will not want to do anything outside of that. The concepts of flow, focus, and presence are quite similar. Hence, focus is critical to a pleasant life. If you focus passionately on whatever you do, you will live a fantastic life. Focus determines whether someone lives an invisible or monumental existence. Your ability to focus decides whether you spend your life filling out documents or conceiving the best move possible. Unfortunately, most things don’t pay; however, finding someone one can give it all is a truly beautiful existence. In any case, focus is something beautiful.
5. Enlightenment
Yesterday, I felt a bizarre sensation on an otherwise unspectacular walk.
From one moment to the next, I felt as if the world went up in color, shedding its monotone façade and revealing its true identity. It seemed as if the world wasn’t real and only a reflection of the mind. Suddenly, everything felt strange – but at peace. It felt as if my ego had faded away; I felt deeply connected with the universe. I had unlocked a spiritual level I couldn’t have conceived of; I never felt as present before.
Since then, I've had a permanent flow.
Enlightenment is when you realize that nothing is real except purpose and your soul; you are enlightened when you realize that very few things truly matter.
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What's the meaning of life? Discovering everything your mind and soul are capable of while reaching monumental success.
Live by the deepest realization.