I thought about how to start this text for a long time and concluded that the best place to start is the beginning. My name is Kiryl P. and I’m currently seventeen years old, I was born in Belarus and moved to Germany at five years of age. My life wasn’t easy. Death of a close relative, homelessness in a foreign country, being bullied at school, bullying others, emotionally abusive stepfather, growing up to a single mother, hospitalization due to stress, ... I've seen it all.
One year had passed and my tramatic chapters ended, I was 13. In December 2020, I started to use that energy, trauma, and stress that built up over the past decade to do something. I started to learn how to program as it was clear that I would start a business, build an audience, and become a massively successful individual. I worked up to 14 hours a day until June 2023, where I could not longer. In the meantime, many things changed. I started to meditate, create videos, do sports, and develop social skills. I managed to turn my life around successfully. Because I was in pain, which I used as motivation, and stress-tolerant I was able to live a life hard to replicate.
On June 9th, 2023, I asked out the girl I crushed on and I couldn’t believe getting rejected. In 2023, and I state this without arrogance, I was genuinely the most attractive person I knew. I had a story. I knew how romantic, passionate, purposeful and dedicated I was. I developed myself at an unmatched pace while demonstrating absolute indefatigability.
But here I was – with all that I have been through, what I’ve done to build myself and the indomitable spirit it gave me – suffering from rejection... for a year now. She was able to break me, genuinely, the only spirit so far.
She was one of, if not the most attractive girls I knew, both pretty and with excellent grades – that means, I found her legitimately attractive for a very long time. I have discussed before why I admired her. Yet, what should I remember her positives for? That won’t make my soul reach tranquility.
As with any love story, it is painted with sadness, disappointment, and pain. I simply couldn’t believe being
such a fool when she spent time with someone else. Months later, a few things changed and I asked her out again
because I believed her heart was worth fighting for.
The sky is starry when you are young.
In March of 2023, I fell in love. In June 2023, I asked her out. In January 2024, I asked her out once more, wrote a love and then invited her again. All for nothing. In March 2024 I had to come to terms with that she simply did not want me. Such is life. Yet, until recently, my heart was still confused. I had many spikes of hope interrupted by the confrontation of reality. And then there was my mind which was always busy looking for problems. I understand very well, the heart goes without one’s will - Just as twice two makes four.
A blink of an eye later, it was June 8th, 2024, prom. Initially, prom was fun. Why? Because everyone knew who I was. Parents, grandparents, students from other schools, and other random strangers I’ve never heard of or seen knew me by name for some reason. Having been in a position of negative status before, I appreciated what status felt like. Status is one of the best things in life. Many congratulated me for getting a perfect Abitur and for being 16 years old while finishing 12th grade, and for creating amazing videos. During prom, I demonstrated indefatigability, I danced like crazy, which also brought recognition. I want you to guess what's more important then status.
“We must dance together”, I invited her. She agreed, which I'm grateful for - do you see how that will bring tranquility? I indeed practiced dancing and somehow, I forgot all of it. I kept my word and danced with her. By that point, however, I understood I had never gotten her heart and would never get it.
As the night progressed, more stars appeared on the night sky, I didn’t find enjoyment. No matter how much status I might have had, how much everyone complimented me, how much I drank, how many other girls I danced with, and how energetically I danced, I couldn’t plug the whole in my heart. She found someone else and I had not fully got over her.
This is love story exactly one year long and it reached completion.
Today on June 9th I woke up and it bothers me no more.
Or does it?
This is the end of a chapter in my life. – This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
Never did I regret letting go.
I'm a gentleman - I must thank her for making me more human. Getting her rejection massively helped me. I appreciate the mental and emotional struggle because it gifted resilience to me. I will find the right one, she will perhaps too. God himself must have sent her to test me. Now I know much better who I truly am. I don’t know what the future is going to bring. I do know that our paths will not cross each other anymore. Yet, change is my ally, time my greatest advantage. And I would like to finish with a quote.
Uncompromising excellence
is a true testament to the indomitability
of my spirit.