A good year ago, I got my first rejection. I didn’t get over her quickly or painlessly - I lived with a broken heart for a year. I asked her out four times because I was in love so badly and couldn't get over her.
I found one rejection painful.
So, why not get rejected fifty times?
After a year of heartbreak, everything is possible.
*****
I’m a true philosopher. One day, I was wondering why I was not successful. I can put in the work, so something else must be missing. I thought further. Some idiot who inherited exactly zero sits on a yacht in this very instance. I realized that the key difference between me and anyone successful is courage, followed by social competence and emotional stability. A rejection doesn’t affect someone who is successful.
I lack courage, social skills, and emotional stability. - Let’s fix that.
*****
Cowardice – having less courage than necessary – was very expensive to me. In late 2020, I started to learn how to program. By mid-2022, I had my first app online. By September 2023, I had to accept that my apps failed. They failed because I built them without any demand in existence. I created four online ad campaigns, one at my school, and over seventy videos about my apps – all without results. However, I could have prevented wasting three years of effort if I dared to talk to people and confront reality earlier. Indeed, it wasn’t ‘wasted’ because I still learned a lot, but you get my point. At the root of every ‘problem’ was me, specifically, my cowardice.
*****
Hot blonde is the metaphor I use for anything desirable in life. I understand very well that being charming, loyal, and passionate is worthless when one never talks to hot blondes. That’s how life is. Being tremendous or developing a great product is only five percent of the work. The real work is marketing. And that takes social skills and courage.
Am I still an awkward coward?
A month ago, in June 2024, I was invited to the state’s ceremony for those with perfect high school diplomas. I figured there would be a high concentration of hot blondes there. I managed to talk to one without being shy or awkward. Even though nothing came to be, I proved something to myself.
After a year of being heartbroken, I stopped being shy, nervous, and fearful.
But then, … three weeks ago, I was in Prague with my parents. Some blonde from Norway ten times more attractive than the previous one made eye contact with me three times, and I figured I might want to talk to her because I was handsome, charming, and smooth…. but then I didn’t do anything. That’s a shame. I proved to myself that I became braver, but here I was again…
I need to do something.
Поехали! - Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space right before takeoff.
I laid out a plan in mid-June 2024, a few days before the high school diploma ceremony. I would spend a month rewriting and enhancing my texts, then start a cute little project where I would get rejected fifty times, and then start my second business. For the new ones among us, my first business was apps, and I committed three years to it until September 2023. That means these fifty rejections would be some meditation, some mental exercise.
How would I get rejected fifty times? I turned on my brain. I came up with three ideas.
So, the third option was the best one.
I believe fifty rejections should be enough to learn that rejection is a part of life. Fifty rejections is a statement, a story, a true testament to the indomitability of one’s spirit.
*****
July 15th, 2024
Sitting on a bench in the woods, I watched the sunset while writing. Some random grandmother (blonde) sat beside me, and we started talking about life. That’s the level I want to reach. If she can do it, so can I.
July 16th, 2024
My nervousness was initially zero. Before bed, however, I grew more nervous by the minute, so I asked my friends
for emotional support.
“Who, if not you?”
July 17th, 2024 – Day one.
I used to get up at three, but now that it’s too hot to sleep, I go to bed at three, a complete inversion. So, I got up at noon and was ready to confront life.
I went to the city center and wanted to enter the first store, an Italian restaurant. It was closed. The next stop was a restaurant, too. It was closed, but its door was open, so I walked in. It felt like I was about to ask out a hot blonde; my pulse rose, and I felt excited – that’s my word for nervous. After ten seconds, I left the restaurant because it was empty. I failed.
But no one cared; no one saw my failure.
Then, I entered the next store, which was also a restaurant. I somehow forgot how to speak, but I made my first offer after stuttering heavily and talking like a shy girl.
“Are you interested in free pictures of your restaurant? You can use them for your marketing and get full rights to these pictures. They are free because you are the very customer.”
“No. I don't have the authority to decide. Wait a second, I will write down who you can call…”
That was the first rejection, and forty-nine were still necessary.
I went to the next store, a flower store run by a Vietnamese grandmother. She accepted; I took some photos. As it turned out, she didn’t have an email address, so they tried to explain that they didn’t need the pictures.
I went to the next store, a restaurant-café-hotel complex. I made the same offer to the boss, and he agreed, so I took some photos.
Then, I had ten rejections in a row. Most of them were very friendly and respectful. One of them stood out. I entered a drugstore chain, and the store manager told me to call the central marketing committee. After several phone calls, it was clear it wouldn’t work out. – For years, I was too scared of making phone calls. This instant, I moved beyond that.
I didn’t quit and got lucky. I worked in a few fashion stores, restaurants, a billion-dollar book retail chain, a home design store, and a pharmacy. These people were good-natured, and we discussed life, business, religion, love, and politics. Yes, business is personal. One store gave me cookies, and I stayed there for an hour talking about purpose with a few older folks. I explained that I was practicing my entrepreneurial spirit and that I was practicing getting rejected so that I could find my hot blonde, and yes, I speak exactly as I write.
For months, I wrote how much I hated my peers and how I had zero empathy. As I talked to these business owners, I noticed how right I was. But not in the way I anticipated; it wasn’t that I struggled with low empathy, a heavily judgmental attitude, and arrogance; instead, it was that my peers were mostly low-quality people, and that corrupted my worldview because I thought all people were like that. - None of the people I spoke to were as heavily deluded as my classmates. While most small business owners were women, none of them had any feminist attitudes; everyone understood the truth. That made me feel much better, but that made me fear the future because my generation has genuinely zero life experience and will be the one running the world in a few years. What bothers me, even more, is that intellectual girls are the most severely manipulated, and it bothers me because these philosophies don’t serve them and because it makes my dating pool very narrow. Some twenty and thirty-year-olds are, on paper, twice my age, but they somehow forgot to live life. Decades of risk aversion and years of screentime kill the soul. I’m never reading comments on my videos ever again. From now on, I refuse to talk to people with zero life experience and who have zero desire to fix that.
I wanted to go home, but then I decided to revisit the first restaurant, which was closed in the morning. One more rejection wouldn’t do anything. I entered it, and I offered to create free photos, just like I had done thirty times that day. The owner agreed, and I took a few pictures. He insisted on paying me, but I refused. Instead, I offered him to return at twilight to create better images. Also, the camera ran out of power.
I ate a bit at home, edited and delivered many photos, and then went to that Italian restaurant again. I took some wonderful pictures in the remaining light, and that’s how I made my first real money - he tipped me 20€.
This was the first day, and talking to these people was a beautiful experience. While I was initially scared of rejection, I stopped getting nervous and emotional after the third one.
July 18th, 2024 – Day two.
I woke up and sent the remaining photos. Then, I printed two pictures from each client and went to every store to ask them whether the pictures arrived and whether they liked them. I also asked for a stamp on the back of the photos as a sort of testimonial.
By then, it was already late afternoon, and today, I didn’t include the word ‘free’ in my offer. I would ask for a symbolic 5€, which is around the price of a coffee.
I got rejected seventeen times in a row.
Something special happens to your mind when you get seventeen rejections in a row and still refuse to quit. – Your mind expands. – Yes, give me another rejection! I love it.
Not every rejection was friendly today. The unfriendliest came from a very shiny store selling kitchen appliances and toys, and the other unfriendly rejection came from a run-down store selling fabrics. Here’s the irony of fate: the one from the toy store goes to church every Sunday, so what’s true religion…?
But then, after seventeen tries, someone agreed, and I created some photos for a metaphorical coffee. While taking photos in that store, a bystander accused me of being a thief. After a few more rejections, I was in another Italian restaurant and was tipped an additional metaphorical coffee. That’s why I offered to return in the evening to create pictures in the dusk.
I went home and completed some work, and as I was on my way to that restaurant, I encountered a small business owner who had rejected me a few hours prior. We talked a bit, and we ended up creating some photos of her store at night. She offered to return the next day. She told me that my politeness, humility, and perseverance paid off.
After I finished creating photos in the Italian restaurant, I went home. On my way home, I walked past the kebab store where I used to eat pizza back when I went to school. It was already eleven in the evening, and there was a group of middle-aged alcoholics there, chilling. They asked me why I had a camera and tripod on me, and I explained my project; I wanted to build some courage and social skills. After a few more minutes of talking, I sat down next to them and continued chatting. We kept talking, and I was impressed by how respectful and insightful they were. For example, one guy asked me very politely whether I don’t have a girlfriend because I seem to be constrained and stiff. That’s also what my grandmother observed. It was almost like therapy. I also talked with the kebab store owner, and it turns out he was also a sage man. He studied literature and taught me a few lessons. Trust people, show support, and you’ll be rewarded. Life is too short to be sad; the world belongs to the optimists. And - Don’t worry about the amount of work before you start doing it.
I got a lot of emotional support from these people, which helped after receiving seventeen rejections in a row. I also created photos for this restaurant, and the owner gave me a drink for two metaphorical coffees. I never would have thought that I would sit with a group of middle-aged alcoholics in the middle of the night and absorb their wisdom.
July 19th, 2024 – Day three.
Today, the project was supposed to end, but life is life. After printing the two photos per store for my testimonial album, I returned to the lady who initially rejected me on day two but then encountered me in the evening, and we ended up talking. I took photos in her store, and we chatted a lot. She paid me four coffees instead of one. Because she treated me well, I printed a picture, put it in a frame, and gifted it to her. She also referred me to the candy shop nearby, which also paid me four coffees. I also gifted a picture in a frame to express my goodwill. I also went to that kebab restaurant a second time to take new photos, this time pictures of the restaurant in daylight. I also took a photo of his family. Because he refused to take money for the pizza and drink, he prepared for me, I bought a double-sided frame and printed his restaurant on one side and his family on the other and gave it to him. It was a wonderful day.
July 20th, 2024 – Day four.
I cannot give up; I cannot fatigue, for my resilience knows no bounds.
No matter what, I wanted to finish this project today. There were only thirteen rejections left, and I had very little time because most stores closed early on Saturday. I quickly received many ‘come back later’ and normal rejections. One new restaurant opened on the street where I used to live. I asked for three metaphorical coffees, and the owner paid triple that. He said he found my project cool and wanted to support it. I made sure to put in triple the effort. Here, I made sure to gift a picture that genuinely stood out.
It was Saturday afternoon, and I had five rejections left. I had to go home to get my bike. I felt fatigued, and even the emotional support I got couldn’t hide the fact that I needed a break. I wanted to rest for a bit at home and ended up sleeping for three hours.
But I needed to finish this project, so I went out one last time. I went to the commercial center with the big stores. I got four rejections very quickly, and each rejection got easier. I had one rejection left.
The sun was already low. I biked to my favorite village because it had a restaurant. That’s how I wanted to complete this project. I was ready to ask for a price I would have anxiety charging. Unfortunately, this restaurant was on its summer break. So, I biked back home, and on my way there, I stopped at the very last restaurant. It was fancy, a former palace. The last rejection was the friendliest.
Fifty rejections, and I'm still alive.
*****
Wednesday, 17.7.2024.
Rejection: 16/50, Tries: 30, Successful: 11
Thursday, 18.7.2024.
Rejection: 36/50, Tries: 56, Successful: 14
Friday, 19.7.2024.
Rejection: 37/50, Tries: 60, Successful: 17
Saturday, 20.7.2024.
Rejection: 50/50, Tries: 82, Successful: 20
*****
I believe that the baseline of masculinity is the constant redefinition of what’s possible. Being a man means doing even if the probable outcome is failure. Masculinity also means showing direction in the face of fear. I believe those who show up daily, do the brave thing, put in the work, and live with a pure heart will be monumentally rewarded.
I like to do extraordinary things. For example, once, I solved ten thousand math tasks in eleven hours to promote my now-failed apps. Another time, I skipped 9th grade and finished school at sixteen years old and a perfect high school diploma. One time, I worked nine hundred days in a row, even if it meant working in the airport lounge or at school and then burning out for a month. I remember how I locked myself up for five days until I stopped stuttering. I have never regretted doing something bold and taking risks.
Sometimes in life, you just need to lean into it. You need to open your heart and lean forward. Sometimes you need just a little bit of that energy.
When it rains, most people hide. But why not rip the jacket off and shout, “Why doesn’t it rain harder? I love it!”
You need that flame.
After I got seventeen rejections in a row, I thought, “Come one, give me another one! Seventeen, that’s all you got?”
I love the war; I love the struggle.
There is no single right way to live, but this is definitely one of them. You need to embrace everything. You need that extra bit. You need to lean into it.
I want to finish with a quote central to my philosophy.
Uncompromising excellence
is a true testament to the indomitability
of my spirit.