The masculine way
1. Meditation on comfort
A few days ago, I wandered into the mountains. November had cloaked the world in its somber embrace. The sky was shrouded in a white fog, the earth a tapestry of grey and brown, the trees stripped bare, the air perfectly still, and the waters icy. It was so quiet—so silent—that you could hear the whisper of snowflakes as they descended. After three hours of walking, I paused. I watched as the sky transformed from white to a deepening gray. I knew I had two more hours to journey from that point. My feet and hands were cold, yet I reveled in the experience.
Comfort isn't something I particularly enjoy. I do not believe life is meant to be lived on vacations, and lying in the sun and eating at a buffet holds no value for me. People say you live only once. But I think the answer to life’s discomfort isn't comfort but the relentless pursuit of excellence.
As I continued my meditation, I saw lit windows from afar. I thought of the families playing board games, eating dinner, or watching movies – while here I was, frozen in the dark. So, who had it better? I think there’s a quiet voice in your mind that tells the truth.
I was fully present. Amongst the trees, I felt at peace. I enjoyed the journey and leaned into it.
2. Meditation on the edge
Yesterday's journey lingers in my mind; its purpose was to gain insight into this text. I woke up shortly after midnight, eager to embrace the day, and ventured into the mountains as the sun rose, bathing the world in a golden hue. Snow grew deeper during the ascended, whispering of winter's silent dominion. I wandered through a frozen forest, the profound quietude, arduous yet exhilarating path. Each village I passed was a tableau of light and shadow, a contrast of winter's chill and the sun's warm embrace. As I walked, my feet grew colder, but the beauty of the landscape filled me with joy. I sat down and let the beauty inspire me.
I believe every man has a core that seeks him to explore and go beyond what’s known. Maybe life is meant to be lived as a nomad, eternally moving, exploring, studying, and seeking. Maybe planting a seed was the biggest mistake humans have ever made. Isn’t life meant to be lived in motion?
Why do I want to become successful? There where others fail, I begin to thrive. I need the dark, high, and cold to feel alive. I come to life only near my edge.
3. Meditation on holding frame
At age 14, one year into my self-improvement, my life was getting exhausting. I had a programming course designed for professionals who were trying to upgrade their skills. I barely managed to keep up, and I had to work pretty much all day long. In parallel, I had skipped 9th grade and wasn’t used to the new expectations; I was two years younger than the other 10th graders. Then, my mother made everything worse by forcing me to go to a swimming club, which killed me three hours per week. Because I hated swimming, I got zero health benefits and all of the fatigue. To put the cherry on the cake, my mother forced me to take hours of my week talking to tutors. I can’t describe how much resentment that built, how worse-then-useless that was, and how it wasted my scarce time.
So, I was pretty far beyond my edge.
Because of my pressure, my mother wanted me to quit that programming course. She threatened to put me from 10th grade back to 9th grade; after all, the school year had just started. She also threatened that she will quit that programming course for me. She had a very concrete vision for my life. Ugly girlfriend, studying in university, and then getting a pointless job. She wanted me to be normal again.
Did I listen? Did I do what I was told? Did I choose the easy option?
Well, if I did, I would not be.
“Yes, correct, you’re all wrong.” – That’s what I thought.
This is not me dramatizing; so far, this was genuinely the most difficult inflection point.
I kept going, holding my frame. I listened to no one; I ignored everyone because I knew I was right. –Eventually, this pressure faded because I kept building skills, thus, improving my productivity. Another life hack was to work during school lessons; while everyone else was taking notes like a good girl. Then, tutors and swimming classes were also cut out. – Suddenly, I had time. This period was truly just a test.
If I had failed that test, my self-improvement would have ended. I would have lived according to the vision my parents wanted me to. The problem is that I couldn’t live by my parent's vision. Without my self-improvement, I would collapse in on myself because having a pointless job and an ugly girlfriend is very far away from the monumental success and hot blondes I want. I didn’t want to be a quitter, so I had to keep going. Two years later, I can see the massively positive ripple effect.
That’s why I always hold frame. I know what I want and what I don’t like. I know the impossible can be done – even if the probable outcome is failure. I am fearless not because of what lies ahead but because of what lies behind me. Growth is pain, but so is living a shallow life.
Now, I’m never listening to my mother or any other woman again. But there’s a little problem. Since I didn’t quit, I wouldn’t be able to go back to a normal life without suffering mentally. I resent my parents, which will only worsen until I reach my goals. Furthermore, now, I don’t know whether some danger is real or just their fear projected on me.
Holding frame is direction. The masculine essence is thinking with a free spirit, standing firm, and doing what one is supposed to do. Discipline, perseverance, and resilience are timeless guiding principles of masculinity.
4. Meditation on purpose
“Do you want to play video games with me?
If you want, we can also watch movies.”
“No, let’s go for a run instead.”
Pleasure is a trap. No matter how much pleasure one has, one always gets used to it. So, if pleasure isn’t something to pursue, what is? Purpose.
When I was 13, I started my first purpose: entrepreneurship. Its manifestation was learning how to program; then, it was about building apps and creating content about it, which took three years. Now this purpose is complete because my apps have failed. Today, I'm 16 years old, and my current purpose is love, but its completion looks unlikely. Hence, I put that energy into writing and creating videos. My main goal, entrepreneurship, remained.
The only way known to man that alleviates pain is purpose. I was able to work for nine hundred, and it didn’t even feel like work. That’s what giving you all means. I do not regret a single second I spent. The taste of life is pain, but purpose makes you strong enough to find joy in it.
Is the best possible emotion not the dissolution of a purpose, the few breaths of perfect stillness, before letting go and starting something new? Letting go is a pain but also a relief. This is the paradox of fulfillment; it is both permanent and fleeting – just like love. The journey never ends.
5. Meditation on love
Six months ago, I got rejected by a girl. I’m nowhere close to letting go. Why did God make her so attractive? Perhaps to teach me something… This struggle made me weak. I got even weaker two months ago when my app-business-purpose ended. Yet, despite the pain, I feel alive. I live with an open heart, even if it hurts, and I stand upright when I feel defeated.
6. Do I wish to be more feminine?
I dwell on the upper echelon of spiritual masculinity, an extreme that carries its burdens. Life is difficult if you constantly redefine your edge. Amongst effeminate men, it’s also difficult to stay true to myself. If no one understands how meditation in the snow can be superior to going to the cinema, I look like a weird person.
Here’s a fun fact. No girl has ever asked me whether I think she’s fat, for I have a reputation for always telling exactly what I think. Extreme masculinity also makes me disinterested in dating, for most women are too masculine.
In essence, being extremely masculine makes you incompatible with most people.
So… Do I wish to be more feminine? No.
When the price of living authentically is looking weird, I would take that trade every time. Why should I choose to be less driven? Why should I choose to find less joy in hard work? Why should I get rid of feeling attraction so strong it can move mountains?
By being true to my nature, I have infinite energy.